As I am nearing the halfway mark in my year of service in Hollywood I have decided to take a little different approach in writing this blog than the past entries I have written. In the past month I have lost my grandfather "Papa", been struggling with the current state of Haitian friends, dealt with and improved issues that my housemates and I have faced, and been sick with my Crohn's. I hadn't sat down to process much of what has been happening until my roommate Will asked me how I was doing spiritually the other night. I realized that I have been just going through the motions and have almost gotten used to some of the things that my heart used to break for and brought me here to serve in the first place. I had not spent the time in prayer and silence like I had in the beginning to process the things that I witness every day. And because of my lack of time alone with God I had almost become numb to the pain and problems that face the people I work with and am in community with. I am asking for prayer for my heart to be broken again. I had started to view what I am doing as my job and that caused me to treat it like any other job I don’t necessarily love. But my hope for the second half of this year is that I may have a servant’s heart once more. What is the truth that I preach in words and actions without tears, and what are the tears without the truth? I am excited about what God has in store for my next 6 months.
When life knocks you on your knees, you’re in the perfect position to pray!
My birthday present was a ticket to the National Championship game!!- Thanks to all who helped. They won for Dawn and Papa the two biggest Alabama fans I know who are now watching in Heaven.
Found your blog from Dwells website. I can totally relate to what you just said. Praying for ya. (not to sound creepy from a girl you have never met or anything... lol)
ReplyDeleteHey Curtis,
ReplyDeletegreat blog. I am praying for you. That God would continue to meet you in unexpected ways, that your eyes and heart would be open to him. Take heart, that this is "normal". I know sharing with people outside the dwell program often gave me perspective on the work my housemates and I were doing. Looking forward to seeing you in a week.
-Mary
My brother i appreciate the honesty of your blog. So many times i find myself also just going through the motions with a heart that doesnt break for the things that break God's heart. It takes a man to admit his struggles and try to improve. Keep up the good work son!
ReplyDeleteMay your heart be broken, Curtis, and may God help you find the strength to heal through reaching out.
ReplyDelete